Idle Thoughts

Published Date Author: , May 26th, 2011

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IDLE THOUGHTS OF A RETIREE’S WANDERING MIND

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it ******************** I had amnesia once—or twice ******************** I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what? ******************** Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. ******************** All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy ******************** If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle. ******************** What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free? ******************** They told me I was gullible and I believed them. ******************** Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway. ******************** Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. ******************** One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. ******************** My weight is perfect for my height–which varies. ******************** I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure. ******************** How can there be self-help “groups”? ******************** If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? ******************** Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off ******************** Is it me…or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? ******************** TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

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