May 13th, 2009 Benedict Home Full of Children, and Tim’s Musings (via postie)

Author: TinyTimbly, March 24th, 2010

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May 13, 2009

Dear Friends and Family,

Yes, this note is loooooooong overdue….. And as always, a lot has been happening…. But this will be a short note (at least compared to some of the ones in the past *chuckle*).

1. Housing situation 2. Fun Stuff 3. Tim’s musings

1. Housing…. We have been looking around at multiple properties, trying to find something with less stress associated with it, where our family would fit. We prayed that God would slam the door shut on any peice of property that we found if it wasn’t the right one for us, and even offered money on one piece. And that door got very firmly closed. We have looked at several others, and every single one has closed on us, except one possible rental that might work if worse comes to worse. So we sat back and thought about what was happening.

And we realized that God had already provided us with a place to live currently, today, for now, just like the Lord’s prayer about “give us TODAY our daily bread”. And this IS still the most ideal place we know of to both raise our family, and eventually develop a small retreat/prayer center or bed and breakfast. So we changed our focus to trying to be thankful for housing each day as it came, and quit freaking out about the foreclosure tomorrow, and trying to move. At the same time, our lawyer advised us to just sit tight, wait for the foreclosure, and deal directly with the bank after the sale (scheduled for tomorrow, Thursday, the 14th at 10:30am). As soon as we did this, changed our focus to being more thankful each day, and quit stressing so bad about having to move, we have had some peace.

In the midst of the stress of it all though, pray for our children. Several of them are not dealing with the housing stress very well…

At the same time, as soon as we stopped focusing on where we were going to live, since we can’t do anything about it anyway for the moment, God also started opening Karen and my eyes to other ministry options up here, as well as doing a new work in each of our hearts. Ironically, Karen and I mentioned to each other the other day that our housing has almost become secondary to everything else God is doing. It’s interesting.

We’ve also been seeing lots of little God fingerprints around us as well, in other areas of our lives. That’s cool too.

2. Fun Stuff

Karen and I got a wild hair on Mother’s Day to go canoeing. So we put our canoe in More’s Creek right below the house here, intending to make it all the way to Robie Creek (I grossly underestimated the time it would take us). In three hours, we only made about 6 miles before we began hitting rocks, and capsized three times in a row. After the third wipeout, we’d had enough, and we pulled out, right in front of some friends house who gave us dry clothes to change into, and a ride home. And even though Karen and I are both now feeling a little beat up, very bruised and sore, and sunburnt, the team building time that we had together was invaluable. It’s amazing what you can learn from rough stuff if you focus on working together to make it through.

As for books, writing, and publishing, we have worked out an arrangement with the shop where I work, to use their print shop capabilities to test try the publishing waters. Our initial runs have been on three of my own books, The Innocence of God (at http://www.TheInnocenceOfGod.com), and the second and third book in my sci-fi trilogy (http://www.hellzai.com). The shop’s website is at http://www.EvergreenResource.com if you want to see some of our printshop capabilities before I get our own new publishing site set up. I’ve already got several more books lined up to publish (like a compilation of all our newsletters and other correspondence and excerpts/thoughts thrown in), and am looking for more. Anyone have something that they would like to discuss with me? No guarantees on anything, but I do have my eyes open for more good stuff that needs to be published.

So if you have material that you want to see in print, we might be interested in helping you make that happen. We’re not a traditional publisher giving out advances and all, but more of a publishing service, and if you have material worth seeing in print, or that your friends and family have always told you to try to get published, we might be able to help you out. Just let me know.

And for those of you that always get a kick out of all our “I can’t believe that happened to the Benedicts” events, here’s a quick little sample of some life snapshots of our lives this spring. a. I hit yet another deer in the van (I think I may have left skid marks trying to avoid it), which caused damage to a section of the van that already needed work, so it will now be paid for by insurance… b. Lightning hit the phone line while my computer was plugged in to it, and it exploded a part on my computer’s motherboard. My computer still works, but the modem is now nonfunctional, and that was how I used to send out my newsletters. I have to send it out another way now. c. Other various drama situations with wounded people in crisis around us…. Life moves forward….

3. Tim’s musings

Doors are open up here for ministry. Some of the ones I have wanted to do in the past have not come through, and I have not followed through with several other doors that may have been open to me along the way. Some of them I was simply too distracted and busy to be able to work with them. So it feels in some ways like I dropped the ball, and that has caused me some shame and repentance before my Lord.

But new opportunities are opening up, and Karen and I are both hoping that they will become something. But boy is life a battle somtimes….

And I guess that brings me to my main musing topic.

Faith. According to the Bible, Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

But first, a recap of what I personally have wanted to accomplish up here in Boise County. 1. I wanted to build a home for children (I called it a youth ranch for a long time- but it was at its heart, simply a home for children), 2. I wanted to facilitate/organize a camp/retreat/prayer center where people can seek and find God’s face for themselves, and 3. several long term ideas that I am still discussing with God (like a school, a home church, a foster home community, etc). My desire in the retreat idea has been more of a facilitator/venue-providor, bringing wounded people together with people who can minister to them, rather than working in a hands-on personal way directly with wounded people myself (though I do plenty of that all the time already).

But how’s faith play in? Well, over 6 years ago now, Yahweh told me to go to Idaho City and “build a children’s home”. In faith, I did that, completely not knowing how it was going to happen. And almost three years ago now, he filled my home with children. Dream 1 has become reality. Step 2 is a camp/retreat center. I believe it can happen. I believe it WILL happen. It might not happen by my own hand, but it will happen, and I want to be a part of it.

In reality though, sometimes it is just plain easier to give up fighting, give in to discouragement and depression, and just go with the flow. Boy do we understand that one. To show a light in the darkness of battle is to get shot at, and often by both sides. If you want to live an extra-ordinary life, make a difference in your world, and leave a mark on eternity, you WILL have battles to face. You WILL face opposition. You WILL face ridicule. Things WILL go wrong. Legends and heros are born and become reality when they rise above something, and overcome deep opposition. Karen and I believe in something bigger than what reality says is our lot in life. We are willing to step out and make it happen. And we are paying for it in some ways. And others around us, also trying to make a difference in their worlds, are facing tough times. We all are. Which means we should be banding together, more now than ever, to accomplish something good.

So we’ve been putting one foot in front of the other, believing in a dream, but fighting discouragement too. It’s tough sometimes. I’m not even sure which dream I believe in anymore, but only that God wants to use us to accomplish more than I could do on my own, something that will bring light to our world, and do everything that is listed in Isaiah 58. I have prayed/fasted off and on a lot recently, trying to understand, asking for wisdom for the future, earnestly seeking God’s face, etc.

So Saturday morning last week, God woke me up earlier than normal, giving me the distinct impression that He wanted to talk to me. I ignored it and went back to sleep, because I felt so exhausted. And I felt awful about it all day long. The next morning, it happened again, so I immediately got up and pulled out my Bible, asking God to show me what He had on His heart. No one else was awake, and the house was quiet, perfect for listening to God.

I opened to Isaiah 59, for no particular reason other than I was praying that Yahweh lead me to something. I just opened it up, and it was on Isaiah 59. And the anger, disappointment, and unhappiness that Yahweh has been feeling about us, our church, our nation, and our world, all spilled off the pages to me in a new way. I immediately asked God to forgive me for anything in my own heart that might be hurting Him. And then I told Him to use me to make a difference. I WANT Him to put me to work, making a difference in my world.

And then I dozed off as I was praying, with my Bible still open to Isaiah 59. When I woke up several minutes later, my Bible was not open to Isaiah anymore. It was open to Psalm 109, a Psalm that I have prayed this year several times about various attacks that have been leveled at me/us. And among others, verses 30 and 31 stood out to me, affirmations of my foundation, and where my true strength comes from: “I will thank the Lord profusely, in the middle of a crowd I will praise him, because he stands at the right hand of the needy, to deliver him from those who threaten his life.”

And it was as though Yahweh Himself was reminding me of my previous prayers to Him, and that He had heard me. It was very comforting.

I am not perfect, I am still making progress, but my heart is in the right place, and God has not forgotten us. And I will continue to walk forward in faith that God still has a plan for us and our dreams.

So what is your own dream? What is your passion? What has God laid on your heart to accomplish? Have you given up? What would it take for you to pick up that dream again, give it to God, repent of ANYTHING in your life that might dishonour/hurt Him and thereby prevent Him from fulfilling those dreams in you, and move forward in Faith, trusting Him to lead you? What would it take? How serious are you about it? How strong is your faith? How much discouragement and battle are you willing to face to stick with your dream through to its conclusion and accomplishment?

It’s a thought to consider, and one that I think about often in my own life.

And pray for us, if you think of it over the next several weeks as we try to negotiate with the bank to stay in this house, and work with our kids in the midst of it… Thanks.

God is good.

In Him, Sincerely, Tim and Karen and kids Benedict Idaho City, Idaho

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